Insert name of child here

"I have to go pee-pee!" announces our three-year-old Reesa, looking at me while standing up with her hand between her legs.

"Okay, run to the bathroom," I say, duly fulfilling my role in her bathroom ritual. She doesn't need my blessing, but if she cannot get a permissive response from a parent, she will continue to stand there and try to get one. I suppose that I could try and train her out of the ritual, but at some point I look at the big picture. The big picture includes some internal and mysterious gauges measuring a variety of father/husband energy levels, including Overall Energy, Patience Energy, and Creative Energy. These are three of the items at the center of my emotional dashboard, and all are critical for successful problem solving or getting out of jams.

In terms of this exchange, which I or my wife will face many of the times that the tyke feels the call of nature, I just figure it's a ritual whose time will pass and I don't spend any of my energies on it. I save those energies for the other things that I (rightly or wrongly) seem to think that she should be ready to get. You know, stuff like (insert appropriate name, or select one item, at bolded text):

• "Name of child, what is this name of clothing article doing in the middle of the hallway?"
• "Name of child, are you jumping/standing/climbing on that name of piece of furniture?"
• "Name of child, are you are using your outside voice on the inside of my house?"
• "Name of child, what are you doing with that pen/pencil/crayon/marker/paint brush?"
• "Name of child, no, you may not change your clothes for the third/fourth/fifth/etc. time today."
• "Name of child, did you wash your hands after going to the bathroom? And don't tell me that you did, because you are out of there much too quickly."
• "Names of all children in the house, who used the toilet last? I want you to come over here now because you need to flush it/I need to talk to you about the 3 yards of toilet paper stuffed in there."

Looking over the list, it boils down to: Hygiene, housekeeping, and preservation of peace and assets. Hmm, that looks about right.