Daddy's ten-count

Expectations. They come in many flavors, so maybe it’s helpful to myself to distinguish amongst them.

Expectation of the moment.

--Most frequently manifests itself in the negative form, as in the internal dialogue of “oh no, I can’t deal with that whining right now.”

--Occasionally appears in the neutral form, as in contentedness without the necessity of an internal dialogue.

--Occasionally appears in the positive (or surprise) form, as in the internal dialogue of “aww, she just said ‘I love you…soooo much!’ in her soft little voice. That is so stunningly sweet!”

Both the positive and negative forms point to lack of balance in my mindset and preparedness to be the best father that I can be. Of course, I find the negative form most frustrating.

The primary set-up behind that negative situation is that I am attempting to simultaneously perform several of my roles while with the children, such as cook, dishwasher, waiter and launderer. Each child can, at any moment, suddenly want all or most of my attention, and that will usually trigger the other one to want the same. I will attempt to give some time, to balance all of the tasks, to distract them. But it may not work, and after a while I will hit a threshold.

If I’m in tune to what’s going, I’ll count to ten. Mostly, I now do this out loud—I am trying to have them hear that I am frustrated and will not be responding to them until I arrive at ten. Then, I try to talk about how I feel, why I am frustrated. Sometimes this results in peace and sometimes there is still upset, but by then I will usually be clear about some options that are appropriate.

However, I am not often in tune to what’s going on, and I end up frustrated and make abrupt decisions. *sigh*