Party rules

Having a young child's birthday party at some fun public place other than home is a fairly popular idea... more things to do, avoid trashing your home, and there's just something about being in a public place that seems to be clearcut for children in regards to the rules of expected behavior.

Anyway, this party of a friend of Genevieve's was at a favorite playground, so the children thought it was fabulous. The party invitation said that gifts weren't necessary or some such thing. I look at all of the stuff our children have and I can understand a desire to not have even more of it. So, I didn't have the kids bring a gift beyond a card. Most everyone else brought gifts. *sigh* I wish that I could figure out what the rules are.

Halloween is tomorrow night. My wife and I are at our most unprepared state for all of the Halloween's that we've been together. Haven't taken stock of toys for handout, and no decorations or lights are up. At least the children will have costumes. Reesa will be a jack-o-lantern (daytime, at school) and a bunny (evening), and Genevieve will be a Pooh bear (and might change into Tigger if she can't keep the bear costume clean).

The Plan

Reesa is spending some time out of diapers. She likes that a lot, except that she refuses to have the BM on the toilet, or to talk about the BM in advance. So, we still also use diapers, though we now use disposable pull-ups. They are easy for her to use for the simple pee-pee stop.

One recent evening she asked me if she could wear her panties in the morning. Since that would be one of the weekday mornings with mommy, I told her that she probably would be able to once she had completed her morning poop. She said, "Oh," and that was all I heard from her on the subject.

The following morning, she woke up shortly after did, got some soy milk from me, and climbed into bed with mommy to snuggle. Between slurps, she softly announced to Marilee:

"The plan is to go poopy in my pull-up...and then, I will wear panties."

Mushroom policy

Regarding mushrooms in food entrees, our household policy is to neither confirm nor deny the presence of fungi, puffballs, morels, or mushrooms in any dish, casserole, soup or other conglomeration of served food. Genevieve is on record (if that is possible for a three-year old) as not wanting to have anything to do with mushrooms. We don’t have many problems with her and mushrooms, though I don’t know whether that has more to do with our policy or with the fact that we don’t use mushrooms in our dishes very often.

Box of clothes

Our girls are slightly younger than their girls cousins, Ellie and Gennie in Arizona, and Paris in New York. So when a generous box of hand-me-down clothing arrives, it seems to have a cachet of the exotic, clothing from a far-away land once worn by people they know. Almost anything associated with a cousin is "cool" and enticing, and the arrival of a box is met with excitement only exceeded by birthdays and dessert.

This week, a box arrived from Aunt Michelle in New York, with clothing once worn by Paris. Genevieve immediately wanted to check everything out. She was moved to dance in the red gingham dress, and will hardly ever be seen without her pink and white sandals. The LL Bean parka also fit. It isn't cold yet, so it was difficult to get too wild over it.

Tonight we had friends over -- a couple and their two children -- and had a good time talking over dinner, and the children played and hung out together. Afterward, Marilee laid down to help settle the children, and has disappeared from the scene. Falling asleep is an occupational hazard of parenting. This works okay tonight, as I can work on this entry while watching the Red Sox-Indians game.

Sleeping while putting the girls to bed has been made all the easier by the hand-me-down bunk bed obtained from a friend in Milwaukee. The bottom bunk is a full size bed, so Reesa easily has enough room for parent to cuddle next to her. The bunk bed is probably the favorite "toy" this week, especially by Reesa, who is gleefully announcing her proficiency on the ladder with shouts of, "Watch me, daddy! I climb down!"

Paint, splash, leaf pile

We had some art time today at home. This was, as usual, well received by the children. Afterward, I filled the wading pool with water and the girls hopped in and cleaned off the paint. Then, drying off, getting dressed and jumping into leaf piles. That's what you can do when you have an October day in the mid-80's.

Genevieve is throwing a lot of tantrums lately, especially when out in public, and it's wearing me down. I chose not to go to a party this afternoon, and that was one of the factors in my decision. Ugh. She tries just about every angle on everything. Oh well, not much more to say on that. I'm trying to be patient but am not always successful in getting there.

I'm sure there are new developments for both of those kids, but it's not coming to me right now.

Giving away the bride

Marilee and I attended a wedding in Chicago today. Clarey was able to babysit the children, so everyone was happy—Clarey gets paid to enjoy playing with our children, our children like to hang out with Clarey, and the my wife and I get to attend a ceremony and reception party without having to manage the inexhaustible demands of two young kids.

I had tears come to my eyes when the bride and her father made their entrance into the church, and it had little to do with the bride. She is a fully capable adult marrying a very loving and nice man. My thoughts were on the father and the ceremonial act of escorting his daughter down the wedding aisle. It struck me as the finale of active fatherhood, a movement from father to grandfather. Perhaps if my daughters and I are fortunate and reach that event, I might view it in some other manner, such as with relief, or joy.

Undoubtedly. my mortality-tinged view is influenced by the death of my father earlier this month. With my daughters as young as they are, I am still looking forward to many more years of being an active dad. It’s difficult to contemplate retirement from that role, and it’s really tough to feel like my usefulness to my daughters will someday end. I suppose it won’t really end, but will rather evolve. Still, it’s all too easy to feel myself in the shoes of that father, walking his daughter up the aisle—I am in no hurry at all to reach that day.

Genevieve's First Dance

This is a guest blog authoring by Marilee.


Here’s a photo of Genevieve’s first dance with Mama. She was just one month old, and someone snapped a photo of us waltzing to Last Gaspé. That’s not why I’m making a guest appearance in “Fatherhood in three easy lessons” though. Tonight my big three and a half year old went to the Tuesday night Contra Dance with me while Reesa had a special date with Daddy at home.

Genevieve’s been very excited about going to the dance with me. Today, she’s been really careful to be helpful, cooperative and curb any screaming tantrums she may have otherwise been inclined to having. (Nope, I’m not above using bribes...) We danced a total of four dances (if you count walking around the dance floor while the band warmed up with a waltz). Steve, the caller, called very simple dances and made good suggestions to me about how to modify the dances for her, and the dancers made great accommodations for her.

On the way home we had a very advanced conversation about where babies come from (grist for another guest appearance perhaps), and when we got home she bubbled over to Daddy about how much she liked the dance. Here are the high points as she reported them.

“Bill was there playing music.”
“There were two fiddles and Bill was playing the banjo”
“It was kind of a grown-up dance and there weren’t any other kids there”
“We did a Do-si-do” (It surprised me she remembered the do-si-do since she dealt with the do-si-do by standing still until someone grabbed her for the next part of the dance.)
“We did a star which is different from a pointy star you draw on paper”
And her favorite part was when Mommy picked her up “And swung me ‘round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round”

Yep, my baby’s growing up.